I was pretty sure my husband and I weren't going to have kids; I thought that maybe that ship had sailed because I was already 39 and we were kind of getting settled into our life. On top of that, we thought our lives might be easier if we didn't have kids. Not because kids would be a burden on us, or anything like that. Rather, it was because the Midwest is not super vegan-friendly, and we had already decided we would raise any child we had as a vegan. We just figured it would just make things easier if we didn't constantly have to explain to people that our kid doesn't eat the standard American diet. Sad reason not to have kids, but it certainly crossed our minds. Regardless, we had "pulled the goalie," so to speak, a while before and nothing had happened. And neither of us was particularly dying to have kids. We were "if it happens, it happens" people. Well, lo and behold, it happened! There I was: 39 and pregnant for the very first time.
The day before I found out, I had been having a text conversation with my best friend and I confessed to her that I was late--I'm never late. "Get a test!" she wrote. I thought I would wait one more day, juuuuust in case. One more day came and almost went, so I decided to get a test. I went into Walmart, grabbed an $.89 test, and went to check out. Feeling awkward walking up to a register with just a pregnancy test, I decided to grab a bag of spinach, too. Somehow that seemed better and less awkward to me. :) I hurried home to take the test, and, within seconds, I saw a dark line and a second, much lighter line. The second line was so light that I wasn't sure there was even a line, but it was dark enough that I still immediately thought, "NO. WAY." I sent a photo to my friend and she confirmed that there was indeed a second line there and that I was pregnant. I had no idea what to do with myself! And I had NO IDEA how I would tell my husband, who was out of town at the time. I did know that I wanted to tell him in person, which couldn't happen for three more days. It was pure agony to text and talk to him for those three days without letting on that I had some major news to share!
The day after I took my $.89 test, I walked to the urgent care up the street from my office to get a confirmation of pregnancy. Just in case an at-home pregnancy test that cost less than a dollar wasn't accurate. So I spent $70 at urgent care just to take another pee test to confirm what I already knew. Two more days until I could tell my husband!
I broke the news to him in the car (don't worry; we were parked) on the way to a blues concert. I decided to print some images of baby clothes from our favorite sports teams and put them in a card for him. I had no idea how he'd react; for some reason, I was nervous that he'd be upset because it wasn't planned and we weren't ready. As we all know, no one is ever really "ready" to have kids. I was hoping he would be excited, but I was definitely nervous. I had nothing to worry about because he was just as excited (and shocked) as I was. :) We spent the evening at the concert with his mother and his cousin, and we were barely able to focus on any of it because of our huge secret! We had so many things to talk about and process, and we couldn't do any of it until we were not in public. Despite that, we were both already REALLY happy and looking forward to the future.
I had no idea how a pregnancy--a vegan one, at that--would go at my age, but I was ready for it! Read my next post to find out how it went!
I love your blog! What interesting and insightful content. I can't wait for the next installment!